* 200 articles. Two years. Whelk. The best of Upsideclown. Might be reprinted.


3 October 2002
George makes use of the old grey matter.

Eye_Pop: Do ya know what I mean tho? How are U meant 2 have a hot time with your girl and your branes if there's no hands?

Droolz: Dam straight. Its just scientists and the government trying to scare us...won't stop me 2nite with Jess, Ive been saving these bodies for a week now! ; )

Branes992: Braaaannnneeess....

LegGurl: A week!!??!! LOL - Droolz, you best take care out there ; )

Droolz: Yeh but shes worth it!! Gonna to find it hard to keep my *hands* offa her!!

Eye_Pop: yuk yuk!

LegGurl: U just keep your *hands* 2 urself!!!

(Extract, GoodLookin'Corpse online bulletin board, October 1997)

...and whilst the fear in the community at that time cannot be underestimated, the factor of social isolation has so far been overlooked by many historians studying the effects of the CJD phenomenon. Blood checks and meal-diaries become compulsory after the winter at all city limits in an attempt to geographically "fence in" the disease (which, naturally was unsuccessful). Although this tactic was abandoned soon after the Kingsland/Rhoda paper was published and publicised, the damage caused to the social and familial networks of z-families at this time was hard-hitting and irreveseble. Grandmas were unable to visit grandchildren; lovers were separated by the jobsworths at the "Bloodcheck" booths. Ironically the introduction of the ss-policy, rather than acting as a catalyst for cohesion, brought further confusion and suspicion as to the nature of the disease....

(pp41-2, Red Hands, FR Guastif, Cambridge University Press)

...given that silver (pure or alloy) provided lowest prion concentration (James et al, 2000) it would appear that a prevention may now be possible.

An unconventional solution

Whilst transmission through direct contact is inevitable, the difference between the trial groups and the control groups in this study is noticibly large. Yanacek's work on the increased risks of hand-to-mouth contact in longer-dead Caribbean z-families (1991) provides valuable information about the risks of contraction through this near-universal feeding method; this is backed by studies demonstrating the relative safety of non-manual feeding (Saxey, 1988; Cleaver et al, 1993). We propose a new solution, one which will allow the continuation of z-social rites together but in a new safer context...

(Contraction and Prevention of CJD via Ag-based Feeds, Kingsland A & Rhoda S, Journal of Z-Biology 23:2)

...Geoff hesitated as he ran his hand down her moth-grey skin. God, but she was one cold sexy bitch! He wasn't sure that he could control himself for much longer as he stroked her oiled locks, and gave an empassioned grunt.

Susie looked up as though she sensed his urgency, and flashed Geoff a naughty, horny grin. Taking his hand away from her face, she moved it down, down to the body lying between them and placed it on the neck. Geoff was shocked - he'd never had a lady be so forward with him! Sending a quick prayer skywards for what he was about to receive, he reached forward to scoop a handful of the brains out.

To his surprise though, Susie reached out her elegant slim arm and stopped him. "Not like that - that's not how I want it..." she murmured. Geoff stopped in his tracks, confused; her actions were saying yes, but to stop it now?...

He watched as she reached back into her pink fake-fur rucksack and pulled out a shining silver spoon. Under his entranced gaze Susie brought the spoon to her decayed lips and ran her tongue down the length it.

Frozen with lust Geoff could barely respond as she leaned in close and whispered "I don't want it like that, Geoff. I want you to feed me - with the spoon..."....

(pp 75, SaferSpoony, Keith L, Viragon Press, 1999)

GLC100: Any1 want to see my pics? Real action!

HotEyeball: _WOW_!!

Hairbear: U can see everything! hot damn, GLC!

Spoon_Shyne: wot r the bright bits? cant see everything...

Spoon_Shyne: oh...I am _sooo_ embarresed!!

GLC100: U know what they R then?

HotEyeball: are they yours?

GLC100: Real silver my friend, and engraved with my name...z-girls go cold for them...

Spoon_Shyne: my ex had his engraved, they were really cool ;)

Hairbear: shyne, as a girl would you say that the brains taste better like that...???

(Extract, Freeky Z-ky UBBS online bulletin board, October 2002)


This is the fucking archive

Current clown:

18 December 2003. George writes: This List

Most recent ten:

15 December 2003. Jamie writes: Seven Songs
11 December 2003. Dan writes: Spinning Jenny
8 December 2003. Victor writes: Rock Opera
4 December 2003. Matt writes: The Mirrored Spheres of Patagonia
1 December 2003. George writes: Charm
27 November 2003. James writes: On Boxing
24 November 2003. Jamie writes: El Matador del Amor; Or, the Man who Killed Love
20 November 2003. Dan writes: Rights Management
17 November 2003. Victor writes: Walking on Yellow
13 November 2003. Matt writes: Disintermediation
(And alas we lost Neil, who last wrote Cockfosters)

Also by this clown:

1 December 2003. George writes: Charm
10 November 2003. George writes: Dead beat
20 October 2003. George writes: Shortening
29 September 2003. George writes: Manhattanites are Cleavage-Starved
11 September 2003. George writes: How to Bring Us in Line With the Future
18 August 2003. George writes: Slashtastic
28 July 2003. George writes: Underground Independent Small Press Comic Fight Club
7 July 2003. George writes: Careering
16 June 2003. George writes: Choose your own adventure
26 May 2003. George writes: Revelations
8 May 2003. George writes: Picture Perfect
14 April 2003. George writes: MetaPirate
24 March 2003. George writes: Preparation X
3 March 2003. George writes: F of x
13 February 2003. George writes: Three is the magic number
23 January 2003. George writes: Recorded Delivery
30 December 2002. George writes: Meat Bingo or Death
12 December 2002. George writes: Royal Inquisitor
21 November 2002. George writes: This Clown is Cancelled
28 October 2002. George writes: Shopping with God
3 October 2002. George writes: SaferSpoony
16 September 2002. George writes: Supercalanthropomorphicexpealidocious
26 August 2002. George writes: The deformed animal menagerie
5 August 2002. George writes: Plaice that Funky Music, Whitebait
15 July 2002. George writes: Safe as Houses
24 June 2002. George writes: Two Lions (DB/DS)
30 May 2002. George writes: Series 8
9 May 2002. George writes: Market Stall
11 April 2002. George writes: I, the Enlargened, Crunchy Product
18 March 2002. George writes: Cakexterminator
21 February 2002. George writes: Fiction Suit
28 January 2002. George writes: Spunk Gunk
31 December 2001. George writes: Fairytale of New Pork
10 December 2001. George writes: Circular
15 November 2001. George writes: A Man With No Ass Is No Man At All
22 October 2001. George writes: One Night in Heaven
27 September 2001. George writes: Uncut
3 September 2001. George writes: Porn Pants
9 August 2001. George writes: Names of the Roses
19 July 2001. George writes: No Fun Here
21 June 2001. George writes: All Your Elections are Belong to Us
28 May 2001. George writes: Pierced as Fuck
3 May 2001. George writes: My Lovely Horse
9 April 2001. George writes: Eight Hundred and Forty-Three
12 March 2001. George writes: Kill 'Em All
19 February 2001. George writes: Formal
25 January 2001. George writes: Sticks and stones
11 January 2001. George writes: A Thought on Morality
11 December 2000. George writes: You can't put that into a soufflé
13 November 2000. George writes: Lyrical Genius
19 October 2000. George writes: Wet wet wet wet wet
25 September 2000. George writes: Built on an Indian burial ground
31 August 2000. George writes: This Way
31 July 2000. George writes: Runt of the Litter

Let meeeeeee entertain you

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