* 200 articles. Two years. Whelk. The best of Upsideclown. Might be reprinted.

My Fabulous Weekend

9 July 2001
Neil couldn't have liked it more.

Yeah, the party was great in the end; we'd squatted this abandoned nursery in Hackney and, I mean, you should have seen the state of it when we first went in but we just about got it ready in time and it went right through till morning. We got a bit of hassle from the police, of course, but we managed to blag them and they couldn't really be bothered to do anything about it. Yeah, I must've left about seven, fell asleep on the bus on the way home actually- should've taken some of that whizz I got offered.

Nah, I just really got to know them by getting involved in this but they're a great bunch of people. Well there are two of them that really set the ball rolling: he's a bit of an S&M freak and she used to work answering the phones in a brothel, which is a great way of shutting them up when they ask about past employment down the social. We had the Sex Workers Union with us on the march, actually, naked except for boots and body paint, so as you can imagine that got us quite a bit of welcome attention.

Well it's massive, isn't it? TVs, drag queens, go-go boys, the lot, right through the centre of the city. Hard to believe anyone's got a problem with it at all. Except for the Christians, of course, the way-out ones. Well, I am now, but actually I used to be an evangelical myself, just for a little while. Nah, I mean, I believed in all that and everything but I never quite got round to it personally: I wasn't a very good fundamentalist.

Well then on Sunday I had to stagger out of bed to get to this meeting: you know, these revolutionary socialists I've been doing stuff with. That's right, the guys I's with on Mayday. Oh yeah, I's there, Oxford Circus and everything. Well, no, I'd left before all of that- I'd just got bored I guess, it didn't look like anything was gonna happen. I'm kind've slowly getting to know them better, y'know? One guy was at the party with me the night before- he's been inside for a bit, actually, assaulting a policeman: well, it was one of these demos and they were just whacking each other weren't they, you know what it's like.

They're all off to Genoa this month, G8. I'd wanted to go with them but I've got this friend coming down who I haven't seen for ages and you know how important people are to me. Yeah, a guy I knew from school- he was a great laugh, used to piss about something chronic. No, I was a bit of a goodie-goodie tragically. I mean, I had this kinda underlying seething rebelliousness going on but never really managed to break my programming until later.

Him? Nah, just a guy I know from work. Yeah, I work with the homeless; yeah, I really enjoy it. It is weird though cos I live above where we work with this South African guy . . . no, black South African, and so we do see the people we work with all about the place pretty much every time we go out. Some are happier to see you than others but he's one of the friendliest. Total smackhead, but he's a really nice guy.

Yeah, you get a lot of substance misuse cases, a lot of mental health, but I's kinda prepared for all of that cos a lot of my friends from university were, y'know, the people who were a bit loony that no-one else really bothered with. A lot of depressives, a lot of OCDs; there was this one mate of mine who nearly got sectioned that I had to chase around the halls trying to get him to cough up the twenty paracetamol he'd just downed, he was a right . . . sorry? Um, well embarrassingly it was Classics; I did kinda enjoy it but obviously it's not much use for anything. Er, no; Oxford actually.


This is the fucking archive

Current clown:

18 December 2003. George writes: This List

Most recent ten:

15 December 2003. Jamie writes: Seven Songs
11 December 2003. Dan writes: Spinning Jenny
8 December 2003. Victor writes: Rock Opera
4 December 2003. Matt writes: The Mirrored Spheres of Patagonia
1 December 2003. George writes: Charm
27 November 2003. James writes: On Boxing
24 November 2003. Jamie writes: El Matador del Amor; Or, the Man who Killed Love
20 November 2003. Dan writes: Rights Management
17 November 2003. Victor writes: Walking on Yellow
13 November 2003. Matt writes: Disintermediation
(And alas we lost Neil, who last wrote Cockfosters)

Also by this clown:

17 June 2002. Neil writes: Cockfosters
23 May 2002. Neil writes: Siege Mentality
29 April 2002. Neil writes: Oh So Pretty
1 April 2002. Neil writes: Lost
11 March 2002. Neil writes: These Are The Days
14 February 2002. Neil writes: Bedtime Story
21 January 2002. Neil writes: Said She Was An Artist
24 December 2001. Neil writes: Here's All the People
3 December 2001. Neil writes: On Antibiotics
8 November 2001. Neil writes: Private Schooling
15 October 2001. Neil writes: Morning After
20 September 2001. Neil writes: Flightpath
27 August 2001. Neil writes: Tsarina
2 August 2001. Neil writes: Family and Friends
9 July 2001. Neil writes: My Fabulous Weekend
14 June 2001. Neil writes: The Sound of Music
21 May 2001. Neil writes: Lethal Injection
26 April 2001. Neil writes: Voter Apathy
2 April 2001. Neil writes: ET
5 March 2001. Neil writes: The Shadow Over Brunswych
12 February 2001. Neil writes: Bibliofile
18 January 2001. Neil writes: Suburban Gothic
25 December 2000. Neil writes: Many in Body, One in Mind
30 November 2000. Neil writes: Urban Regeneration
6 November 2000. Neil writes: In Extremis
12 October 2000. Neil writes: Obituary
18 September 2000. Neil writes: Your Mother Sucks Cocks In Hell!
24 August 2000. Neil writes: Parent Power
7 August 2000. Neil writes: Love Letter

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